Muh Ha Ha Ha

Couple things are new bitches! 1) Great Christmas presents. Tickets to a Night with Rick Mercer, a new camera, more than $400 worth of Chapters gift cards and a ton of glee shit. Joyyaylife! 2) At family Christmas, I made out with my cousin's boyfriend. I KNOW!!!!!!!!! Like holy shit right? He was drunk and I was desperate. And I'm prety sure he thought I was my cousin. Which is odd 'cuz I'm like 3 inches taller than her AND A GUY!!!! Oh well. No use complaining. 3) I have a ridiculously cute optometrist. Like ZOMG. Tall with pierceing blue eyes and spiky dark hair. :O Hotness.
So I've made my list of New Years Resolutions:

• Lose 30 pounds and get abs
• Get a 90 average
• Write and try to get one of my novels published
• Get a boyfriend
• Work on my theatricality

Oh Dear.

My driving instructor knows I'm gay according to a source, but has the weirdest kind of way of trying to bring it up. A couple days ago, we were talking about stupid people and how they seem to have alot of kids and he said, 'well YOU can still adopt.' and I was like 'o hell no! I'm passing on my genetic material and having my own flesh and blood.' And just today, he was like 'I'm very glad Obama's in the White House cuz I saw the other day that they repealed the don't ask thinger.' Yes The Don't Ask Thinger. That is the official name of the Act. But I just find it hilarious and ...... there's no other word to describe how I find it.

Uuuuuhmmm......?

I woke up today with a softball-sized bruise on my ass. Let me start about 16 hours prior. PARTY!! Music, friends, dancing, cake and night time tabogganing. Okay now my personal measur of a good party is that 1) you don't remember part fo the night, 2) your hips hurt and 3) you've done something incredibly awkward. I'm now including a special catergory of you acquire somesort of bodily abnormality.

Anyways, this past friday was the Christmas dinner and talent show and many people were quite upset that I didn't perform my comedy routine. But OMG! The male teachers did a rendition of 'Bad Romance'. Holy shit. The one teacher, who is incredibly awkward and oggled by pretty much every girl and me in the school, let's call him Owden, was SO incredibly hot belting GaGa. OMG Last year the dude teachers did a stylized version of theTwelve Days of Christmas. In leather. Now I didnt't think Owden could get any hotter than being in leather, but now I am torn between the two. :S

And whilst Christmas shopping with my father, I learned I should never be let into a pet store. Or if I must be, I must be kept from the pet adoption center. I went in, saw the adorable kitties and began bawling my eyes out. Honestly, lately, if I were a chick, I would think I would be pregnant. I'm havin odd moods and odd cravings. No morning sickness or bloating yet though. :D (y)And I'm also doing this stupid thing; getting my family things with actually meaning to them. I made my Dad a CD with all my favourites on it so he can get to knwo me better, my Mom an empty scrapbook so we can fill it full of shit and my borther an empty memory card so that we can with it doing more brotherly shit together.

O and I hate how people treat giners. May I remind EVERYONE that GINGER GUYS CAN BE HOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!! I mean seriously? Have any of you seen picture of Prince Harry in the military? That is some hot piece of man candy.
I mean come on look at him all scruffy and

sexy. ->

Yowza!! I need confetti cannons...... Why? Um no reason....

Shit load has happened since no one read this last. Semi, Me ACTUALLY cleaning my room and my first genuinely happy day in a long while. Heehee. Semi-formal was actually pretty fucking awesome. Although,....... The DJ had NO LADY GAGA..... I'll give that a few minutes to sink in. What fucking DJ has NO LADY GAGA!!!!????!?!??!?!?! A shitty one indeed. Needless to say I was pissed. I also lost the non-love of my life but still like a huge crush to one of my best friends. Oh well. I think I also dance with more chickas than any other guy at the dance. Which is sad for both me and the straight boys. Come on straight boys! I mean I'm beating you. That's just sad. I mean seriously. That holds no intrest for me.

Secondly? My room. Fucking spotless. You could eat off of any surface in it. It's remarkable. I think it's the first time it's actually been clean since I moved INTO the room.

Third, I've been genuinely happy ALL DAY LONG. It's unnerving. I'm so used to be crotchety and pissed off. But just at the beginnning of this period, my English teacher, let's call him Killer Kowalski, decided to try to fucking ruin my day by being a bitch. So I just went you decide to try to fuck with my day, I decide to say fuck you and fuck this class. So now I sit and blog. And just now, like legit seconds ago, this cunt whohelps with the retards comes up and is like you're not supposed to be blogging at school. And there's a class in this lab. I looked her in the fucking eyes and then said, 'if it's not allowed, why isn't it blocked? Did you book this lab for this period? The ACTUAL tteacher for this class is, let's say The Dwarf, isn't it? Let's ask her how much she cares about me being here."

Bitch got put in her fucking place!! And so my happy day continues.... On do-gooders.

O my god though. So I had stolen by friend's headband with a bow on it, 'cuz I thought it was cute and I enjoyed it. So Iwore it for two periods and then gave it back. I'm walking away from English in a dazed kind of state because I'd just WALKED OUT, when I here the Principal say something. Now I didn't really hear it, but I had a feeling it was directed at me. Anyways I just went huh and he repeated himself. He asked, 'where's the bow?" I honestly went daawh. Now my high school like 50 year old principal isn't exactly the kind of attention I wanted the ehad band bringing, but it definitely meant that people noticed.

You're a life ruiner Eelyak! You ruin Lives!

OMG! English class, sub, wehich btw was amazing, we're all just talking in groups. Best day of English ever. And of course, what's English class without some lasting emotional scarring. Mid-way through a discussion about ultimate hide and go seek that some hwo led to sex dream, a certain person, let's call her Eelyak, shares about her sex dreams with a certain OTHER person in the class. Let's call him G. Now the terrible thing is that I have also had sex dreams about the exact same person. -_-. He's straight and yeah I'm over it now and blah blah blah. OO Ke$ha! :P
But after talking about her dreams about G, Eelyak says 'and he's got a huge one too, like' and then she grabbed her wrist. Holy fuckballs!, hold up! So I says, 'how the fuck do you know'. So she begins' well we were in my hot tub,' and I lost it. LOST IT! I could not stop laughing. Any story that begins with we were in my hot tub is bound to be hilarious so I laid down some pre-emptive laughter. But that's all that she gets out before HE COMES OVER!!!! I am trying my best to hide behind my hand, I can't even look him in the eye, it's just a disaster. I'll never be able to look G in the eyes again. Especially since I've seen MORE than just his eyes ;). Not that I was intentionally looking.

Update!!: So apparently, G was askin' Eelyak about what we were talking about. And wouldn'tcha knowit. He's a Harry Potter geek. He asked her if she told me about his Elder Wand...... Okay some part of that is dork, another is cute, another is down-right sad.

Everyone Needs An Intense Dance Break

OMG. Intense dance breaks are fuckign awesome. I just had one in the dark, over-heated small computer lab (138). To "Bootylicious". Yes. Bootylicious. It was quite amazing. I can't help it. I'm like Lily Allen's tits. Incredible. :D

FCK Censorship

Okay, so this total cunt, let's call her Ollepuc, ruined my fucking set for my intermission act at Unplugged, an acoutic concert.I'm fucking pissed. However, to circumvent the school's will, I shall eb posting my full routine, uneditted, to Youtube and posting a link to my Facebook.Yay life mother fuckers.
Also! Iturned 17 on Wednesday!! I went to Toronto to shop at the Eaton center and I SAW WICKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES MOTHER FUCKERS!! WICKED!!!! It was so fuicking magical I began to cry. I was mouthing the lyrics and openly sobbing during 'Defying Gravity'
I have a party tomorrow night. And on Saturday I go to getmy tattoo!! A light blue cancer ribbon in support of prostate canacer. Joy life!

160 Kids Can Be Fucking Rude

Okay, I know they're retarded but these little fuckers need to be taught some respect. You can teach a dog respect. So either they are stupider than dogs or we're not trying hard enough. You teach a dog using corporal punishment but we are unwilling to put a hand to these people. I'm not advocating beating children but something must be done. These fuckers don't understand words the same way we do. They understand some of the simpler phrases but beyond that nothing. They don't get the concept of respect as an abstract. But they can learn to obey using Skinner's theory of Reinforcements. Hitting a retard when they do somethign wrong could be one of the best things you do for them. I got hit for being disrespectful when I was younger. I fucking turned out okay.

OOO!! I also quit smoking a couple days ago. No patch, no pill, just willpower. Getting pissier by the second though.

School (aka. Sleep Space)

Fuck Yeah Fuschia. That's the name of the colour my nails are right now. So I got to a Catholic High School and I was and still am hugely fucking suprised the liberality of my school and the people who go here. Like Mothershit. I have pink fucking nails and no one says a god-damn thing. I have never been bullied, taunted, threatend or made to feel unwelcome. Okay. So what the fuck is America's problem? I hear of all these suicides and yes I wore purple on Spirit Day but like seriously, I have never thought about suicide since coming out. Being openly gay is not a bad thing here. Come on gays, have a country wide Pink Migration here to Canada. Let's become a Bloc Vote and Rule this country.

OMG MOTHERFUCKERS! UPDATE!

ONE DAY TILL THE SUBSTITUTE! GWYNETH PALTROW ON GLEE! FORGET YOU! SPANISH-NESS~ Rebecca's new name is Domino! YAY! YAY MOTHERFUCKERS!! OOOOO!!!!! I'm writing a new book. Apparently it's addictive. Basically it's my mind on a page.

OMFGSHIFOACAGE-Wrong Anagram....Dammit!

Well fuck me hard and call me Suzie! In the words of Samantha, Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck! No.1 My mom found my smokes, pot and lip gloss. That's ALL gone now. Fuck! No.2 Well acutally there is no number 2. I'm just very upset about number 1. However I did turn into a huge gay bird twice this past week. Once when I first saw the Glee version of 'Teenge Dream' and again when Korofsky kissed Kurt! Actually at first I just went "WHAT!?!?!?!" in a voice three octaves higher than normal. Yeah WHERE THE HELL did that come from! And btw, I have actually never been more turned on by a chick than when the chickas did their mash-up. Holy shiznat! Like it was fucking hot! And I say that as a gay. Good job ladies. OMFG! Darren Criss.... Holy Hotness! Like YUMMY! I'm callin' it motherfuckers. It's a be a Blurt!

Gotta Love The Cool Teachers

So, there's a pep rally today, like right now and I'm SUPPOSED to be in there but it's stupid. So I'm walking through the halls to one of the computer labs and a teacher, let's call her Norgs, sees me and is like "not going to another assembly?" So of course I was like "Hopefully". And she just said, "Go to the library. I didn't see you" Epic Win!

Gotta Love A Fool

My 4/5 teacher (For the purposes of my blog let's call her Laframboise) let's me out of class because I say I need to "go check something". So now I sit here and blog. And Holy shitstorm, the drama. Firstly, someone (Let's call her Elisa) is going to get kicked out of the locker she shares with...Moaner, and thursday she's going to get bitched out! O Shit! Secondly, Salty got a buncha hate mail on her Tumblr calling her a whore and a slut because she posted some pics of a rather cute shirtless guy a couple of days after she broke up wiht her loser boyfriend. So her, Moaner and Clarice all individually came to the conclusion that it was Samama who had posted these thigns because she had been the only one to talk to said loser since the breakup and it was kinda obvious that it was written by a chick. But that part of the drama has been allieviated. But now because Elisa is not invited to Christmas Dinner and cut out of Secret Santa, I have to keep the Hello Kitty I got her. Yes, I got her a Hello Kitty. She has no fucking personality! What the hell am I supposed to get her. But I'm not really complaining about keeping Hello Kitty. I mean, I DO love Hello Kitty. She's freakin' adorable. Now I'm singin P!nk's "Glitter In The Air". Wow I'm either depressed or going to lead into "So What!!" with some heavy fucking righteous indignation. OOO Cute boy in the hall stared at me! *Big smiley face, like fucking huge*... Cute boy who's ALSO never had a girlfirend in highschool and who's very quiet and shy. Score!

Work!! Joy of Mother Fucking Joys.

Working with a huge fucking cunt. Wanting to shoot many, MANY customers. Being around so much fucking disgusting shit for so long. Annoying bitch I work with whose a fuckin' ass-kisser to the fucking cunt. Joy to the mother fuckin' world mother fuckers.
But there are some redeeming features. Workin' with Kim and talking in Black-ccents, hangin' in the back and talking about music and culture and the such with Shelly, Kate and I discussing our mutual hatred for said huge fucking cunt.
Anyways, I'm in drive-thru at the window and the huge fucking cunt says, "no singing in my drive-thru". So what do I do? Obey? Bahahahahaha!! Bull fucking shit! I start righteously belting Melissa Etheridge's "Come to my Window". And all she can do is look at me like I cannot believe you just stood up to me.
School tomorrow. FML X(

Pontiacs Can Fly!

So I was driving with my mom today and this little shit-kicker in a shit-kicker little Pontiac gives us the finger and cuts in front of us. So my mom follows down a country road and intentionally rear-ends them. And guess what motherfuckers. Pontiacs can fly. It was proven today. That cars rear end went almost a foot in the air. So now I blog while wearing my favorite lip-gloss. Pecan Passion. :D OMG Watching Miss Congeniality while older = amazing. My favorite part is when Cheryl admits to having stolen the "devil's panties". Je heart. But watching this movie now made me realize, I have to eat pizza drink beer and go out and party on luminescent paint drums with my friends. That would be hilariously amazing.

Holy Fuckballs

$12.50 in tips from a single 5 hour shift last saturday. I cannot believe it. It's like fuckin' magical. But now i have to go plagiarize some shit for English xD

Choir!! (y)

Holy shiznit! I was ACTUALLy good at choir today. I actually garnered a compliment from Sarah, from whom I am used to hearing that I suck shit. -_- Anyways, we're doing the song " 'Til the Last Shot's Fired" by Trace Atkins. Yeah. our choir is doing a country song when no one there sings country normally. And of fucking course, we only had five whole members. Yeah. Great fucking choir when there's only five fucking people. So now i'm home, drinking a mocha cappuccino protein drink. Dee-fuckin'-lish! And supposed to be studying for a Hamlet quiz. Oh well. Fuckballs to that.

I'm Fucking Angry

Motherfuckers! Update! While at the mall, my mom tells me I can't fucking go see Wicked at the Canon Theatre in Toronto.... I'll let that sink into your brain meat. The muscial of the fucking decadde, the one I've wanted to see since I knew it existed, and I'm not fucking allowed to go because it's too expensive. Even though i would have payed with my own fucking money. And how fucking hippocritical is this coming from a woman who's spent thousands on fucking scrapbooking shit. Much of which she'll never use. FUCK!
the only fucking reason I haven't gone on a homicidal fucking rampage is because when I got home i did two of the things to calm me. Physical excercise and a couple cigs. Yay nicotine and endorphins!

Insult plaid all you fucking want...

But I love my plaid coat. It is sofa king warm. Walking home in the cold, watching other people shiver, it's quite funny. Je heart. While listening to the Glee version of telephone and drinking a nice hot Timmies French Vanilla.... It's like an fuckin' orgasm. Joy, motherfuckers. Joy. now normally I don't drink anything like a french vanilla from T-Hos, because theres like 250 calories in a medium, BUT there's this cute guy at the Timmies I go to. I quite enjoy flirting with him and he flirts back. :D But now I have to do a Pre-health essay, English notes to finish and a Law article assignment. +o(. But then off to London to shop for books, and clothes and to find some music!! XD laytah bitchez!

School (N)

If you seek ay my life. English journals due today. Not done. Most boring subject ever. Wanna vomit. Skipping rest of classes to do them. +o(
Started reading Boston Legal transcripts to stop self from gouging out own eyes.

Hallowe'en Eve

Beth's party was AH-MAIZE-ING! Half a bud light lime, a few swigs off Becca's cooler, two vodka and cokes, one and a half vodka and sprites later, I completely lost my sense of hatred for humanity. Well, the bad part of humanity. It also made watching the Human Centipede A LOT easier. Yes. We actually watched a movie LEGALLY banned in Canada. Lots of good times were had all around. So Aly and I are both on meds that should not be taken in conjunction with alcohol. Oh well. Fuckballs to that.
So now on actual Hallowe'en Eve, I'm hanging with Mona, Sarah, and Savanna. We went to MickDicks and sat in the booth next to incredibly sketchy motherfuckers. The one guy got obsessed with the fact that I eat ice cream like I suck dick. Not my fault. Then they tried whipping fucking french fries. That shit is un-ack-fucking-ceptable. Using their reflection, I pinged 'em back Now back at my place, we're watching Sex and the City. Lucy Liu, Long Pink Amazing, Dickalicious,Where dimples come from. Holy fuckballs. I adore it.

Fuckballs!

So I fake a splitting headache to get out of last period today. Getb home and guess what motherfuckers. Gargantuan headache fucking hits me as soon as I walk in the door. But like a smart person, I have my house completely stocked with advil, caffeine and soft things to sleep on. I have to get rid of my headache befoire this party tonight... Grrr.

Hallowe'en!! (Life update)

So holy shit it's been a while. Like a long while. Since I last blogged here, I've reconciled my differences with someone who hated me, fell madly in love with Glee, rediscovered what I can do, become comfortable with who I am, accepted the fact that i'm meant to be single, ran for student council prime minister(shortest campaign in history) and joined the choir. Holy shit, I'm the last person I would have thought to sing Jesus tunes. Speaking of Jesus tunes, Papa can you hear me? is perhaps one of Barbra Streisand's most widely known song and definitely one of my favs. When Lea Michele sang it on Glee, I realized that we may have finally found someone to fills Babs' shoes when it comes to that. Lea is a spectacular singer with just the right emotion, power and vocal range. Holy fuckballs! I just comitted gay blasphemy. Mabejebus! But it's so true and feels so right. aha ;). But I digress, it's been an eventful year and I hope it's not another before I blog again.